Wednesday, 13 September 2017

The Habit of Gratitude


"When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breath, to think, to enjoy, to love."

No, this is not something written by a "new thought" guru.  It was written by the Stoic Roman Emperor, Marcus Aurelius, some time between 161 and 180 AD.  Marcus Aurelius was very much a student and practitioner of self-improvement.  He even wrote his "Meditations" (from which this quote comes) in Biblical Greek rather than his native Latin, purely to improve his fluency in that language.

How do you awaken every morning?  How do you feel?  What are your first thoughts and feelings?  Do you open your eyes, smile, and say "Good morning, God!", or do you keep your eyes closed, sigh, and say "Good God, Morning!"?  I hope usually the former, but perhaps at least some days it is more the latter!

The truth is, it really is a precious privilege to be alive, just as Marcus Aurelius said nearly 2,000 years ago.  So perhaps you should try to make your first thought when you awake a feeling of gratitude that you are still alive.  You have many things for which you should be grateful, but certainly being alive must be one of them.

It may not be easy at first to adopt this new habit.  But try to make it that - a habit of gratitude.  First recognize that you are still alive, that you are breathing.  That shouldn't be too difficult, even when you are half asleep and bleary eyed!  Then recognize that you have the ability to think.  Know that you have the right to enjoy this extra day you have been given life.  And feel the wonderful power of love around and within you.

When you first try to do this you will probably find it is quite erratic.  One day you will remember the moment you awaken.  The next day you will forget, and maybe only around midday will you suddenly remember that you forgot your morning "gratitude exercise".  When that happens, don't worry.  Simply feel and express your gratitude for life, thought, happiness and love the moment you remember to do so.  Just try whenever you can to remember to do it first thing so it colours your attitude to the rest of the day.

After a while you will find it starts to become a habit.  Some gurus will tell you that it takes 21 days to establish a habit.  But don't take that as gospel.  Otherwise you will be trapped into worrying when you miss a day and perhaps thinking you have to start counting towards 21 all over again, or at least deduct a few days from your progress towards 21.  The reality is there is no magic number to create a habit, not 21, or 30 or any other number.  So just keep doing it, and don't berate yourself when you miss a day, or even several days in a row.  Just keep going.  Express your gratitude every day, preferably at least when you wake up, but also later in the day - ideally in the latter case thinking of some specifics other than just life, happiness and love for which you have every reason to be grateful.

When gratitude becomes a habit you will find your life changes significantly, and for the better.  As I said before, we all have good reason to be grateful.  If you want to look for reasons to be unhappy I am quite sure you can easily find them.  But I also know you have many reasons to be happy.  So make it a habit to be grateful for those reasons you have to be happy.  By reminding yourself you have good reason to be happy, you will find you ARE happy.  And wouldn't you far rather be happy than be sad?

What you will also find is that things around you begin to change, and you will have even more reasons to be grateful.  Simply by feeling and expressing gratitude you will attract to yourself people and situations that will make you even more grateful, that will give you more reasons to be happy, that will increase the love you have for others and the love others return to you.

What a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breath, to think, to enjoy, to love.  It really is a privilege.  Recognize this, be grateful for it, and reap the enormous benefits you will gain as you do so.

Wednesday, 6 September 2017

Abundance Blocks


If you have been studying personal development for a while you have probably come across the term "abundance block".  But what exactly is it, and why is it important?

Your unconscious mind is very much like a computer.  Program it in the right way and it will give you the right answer.  But the term "gigo" (garbage in - garbage out) very much applies here.  It has no good way of testing the truth or otherwise of what it is told.  Again, just like a computer.  If you write a program instructing your computer to do certain things, and if you use the right syntax to write the program instructions, it will do exactly what you say.  It doesn't care whether or not there is any logic in what it is being told to do, even though it is an entirely logical machine.  It just does it because it has been told to do it.

On being told this, some people think all they need to do is give the right instructions to their unconscious mind and all will be well.  They prepare the right "affirmations", recite them every day, and then expect their unconscious mind to start creating opportunities which will lead them to their goal.  In theory this should work.  In practice it often doesn't, and it is then tempting to say "affirmations don't achieve anything - they are a complete waste of time and effort!"  But the reason it doesn't work is because there is some deep seated underlying "programming" which is taking us in a very different direction.  This underlying programming creates "abundance blocks".

Abundance blocks can be created at any time, but many of the more powerful blocks were created many years ago, often during very early childhood.

There are many different kinds of abundance blocks.  The way in which they block us differs, but the end result is the same.

A very common abundance block is the belief that we do not deserve abundance.  That abundance may be wealth, and it often is.  But it may be, for example, good relationships, a satisfying career, etc, etc.  Anything, in fact, that we would like to achieve.

So your unconscious mind may have been programmed to believe you do not deserve to be wealthy, or do not deserve to have love, or do not deserve to have a good job.  Often, it is so deeply buried that you don't even realize it is there.  You try to become wealthier, but your unconscious mind "knows" that you do not deserve to be wealthy, as that it what it was programmed to believe many years ago.  And so it refuses to let you become wealthy.  Or allows you to become wealthy for a brief period and then lose it all.

Or it may have been programmed to believe that whatever it is you want is evil.  Typically this will be wealth, although again it may be anything that you would regard as signalling success.  Perhaps it believes you cannot be spiritual if you are aiming for success in one way or another.  There is no conflict between a good, happy relationship and spirituality.  There is no conflict between a satisfying career and spirituality.  There is no conflict between being wealthy and being spiritual.  Did you react at all when you read any of those statements?  Did you feel some resistance inside you?  Perhaps when I said there is no conflict between being wealthy and being spiritual?  Did your unconscious mind feed you some phrases along the lines of "money is the root of all evil"?  This is a very common unconscious belief (sometimes a conscious belief too), which is completely untrue but which has created an abundance block that will prevent you becoming or remaining wealthy.

Sometimes these abundance blocks have arisen from a direct comment.  Perhaps your parents told you when you were a child that money is the root of all evil.  Or they may have told you that if you want to be successful you have to work hard.  On the surface that sounds a reasonable thing to say.  It is certainly good to work for success, to do things likely to lead you to success.  But if your unconscious believes you can only be successful if you work hard, then all the time you are not working hard (because, for example, you are getting the sleep you need, or eating the food you need to eat to stay alive!) it will decide you cannot become successful because you are not working hard.  It has a very simple program equating success with working hard and cannot recognize that sometimes you have to do something else.

Sometimes the abundance blocks have arisen indirectly.  For example, as a young child you may have heard your parents arguing about money.  Maybe not a very bitter, long argument, just the kind of "spat" most of us have from time to time.  But to your young child's mind there is now an association between money and unhappiness.  That will create a powerful abundance block.

Abundance blocks like these are usually buried very deep.  It may take some time to identify them.  One way to recognize you have them is to see how you react to words like "wealth", "money", "love", "success" etc.  Any feeling other than great joy and happiness suggests you have an abundance block you have to remove before you can receive the abundance the Universe wants you to receive.

Although it is possible to identify and remove these abundance blocks yourself, it is a lot easier to enlist help to do so.  Use a coach who specializes in this area.  Personally I have taken programs run by the excellent coach Christie Marie Sheldon.  You can attend one of her webinars free to identify and remove one of your abundance blocks, and then consider following one of her programs to deal with the many other blocks you almost certainly have.

Wednesday, 30 August 2017

Manifestation and the Supernal Triad



If you really want to manifest your desires you need to use the principles expressed in the Qabalah as the Supernal Triad.

I hope you haven't switched off at this point.  Yes, I know that unless you have studied the Tree of Life what I have just written is probably Double Dutch to you!  But bear with me - the concept is both important and easy to understand.

Before I go any further let me reassure you.  I am not saying you have to learn the basics of the Qabalah in order to manifest properly.  Rather, I am just saying that the Qabalah neatly outlines what you must do in order to manifest your desires, even if when you do so you do not realize what you are doing has a Qabalistic interpretation.

In Qabalah, the Supernal Triad is the top three "Sephiroth" of the Tree of Life.  It is the way the Supreme Being begins creation.  And used properly it is the way we, too, create reality from our inner dreams.

There are three points in the Supernal Triad, as you probably realize from the name.  They are "Kether", "Binah" and "Chokmah".  Some describe Kether as the Soul, Binah as the Womb into which the Soul enters, and Chokmah as the force of Creation that results when the Soul enters the Womb.  But there are also other names for these three Sephiroth, and those names show you what you need to do in order to manifest properly.

Kether, the Soul is also known as "Desire".  Binah, the Womb, is "Imagination".  Chokmah, Creation, is "Visualization".

In order to manifest you must have all three in balance.  Miss out any one of the three and you will have, at best, a very lukewarm power to turn your dreams into reality.  More likely nothing will happen at all and you will walk away from the whole concept of the Law of Attraction complaining it doesn't work.

The work of Manifestation begins with Desire.  If you do not really desire whatever it is you are dreaming of it will remain as just a dream.  Your desire has to be strong.  Like a flame in a furnace you can stoke up your desire as long as there is a spark of desire there in the first place.  But make sure you are focussed on a real dream.  Too many people think they really want to achieve something, but the desire is not strong enough simply because they have not truly identified their real dream.

Once you have fanned your Desire into a passion, it is ready to act - which it does by entering the womb of Imagination to create through Visualization.

Imagination is important.  Too many people go straight from Desire to Visualization and miss out the step of Imagination.  You need to use your Imagination to begin creating the right Visualization.  Stoke up your Desire, and then begin using your Imagination to create the right scene.  If you use your Imagination properly you will find it automatically leads to a powerful Visualization.

If you find you don't have enough Imagination to create a vivid Visualization, such that it seems, when you close your eyes, to be as solid as the "reality" you see around you when you open your eyes, you should work on improving your Imagination.  To some people this comes naturally.  Those are the people who find the Law of Attraction works for them the moment they hear about the need to Visualize, as long as they are Visualizing something they truly Desire.  But it can also be a learned skill.  Like any other skill, you need to study it and then practise it.  One way to build your imagination is to read voraciously.  Pick authors who write powerfully, whose books are filled with descriptive paragraphs.  Read those paragraphs and then picture the scenes in your mind.  After you put the book down, re-visit the scene.  Try to see it in detail.  And don't just see it - use all your other senses too.  Hear it.  What do you smell?  What do you feel?  If, for example, you are reading a Joseph Conrad book with the setting in a jungle in Southeast Asia, imagine yourself in that jungle.  You are so hot!  The sweat is pouring off you.  There are the smells of strange plants around you.  This really works!

I have mentioned Joseph Conrad.  Yes, his novels are now very dated.  But they are also very powerful and a great source of scenes to improve your skills of imagination.  Or try Ernest Hemingway - another now perhaps dated, but very powerful author.  John Steinbeck, perhaps.  If you are into science fiction (or maybe even if you are not!) try Ray Bradbury or Brian Aldiss.  There are very many authors who are really great at building a scene, where you can visualize what they are describing as you read.  Just remember to keep practising re-creating those scenes even when you are not reading.

Once you have gained the skill of re-creating in your mind the scenes from the books, use that same skill to Visualize whatever it is you desire.  Again, use all your senses.  As you do so, fill the scene you are Visualizing with your deep Desire to make this dream a reality.  By doing this properly you will be using the full Supernal Triad which is the Universal force of Creation, and you simply cannot fail.  You are using a Universal Law, and Universal Laws never fail.

If you wish to source any of the writers I have mentioned, try your local library.  Certainly Conrad, Hemingway and Steinbeck should be there as their works are absolute classics.  One disadvantage, though, is that you will have a limited time to practise your imagination skills.  Also, some people find it helps to highlight or underline the passages they want to visualize.  Don't do that to a library book!

An alternative is to buy the book from a reputable source.  I have listed the particular books I think you will find the best for this exercise, and given you quick links to the cheapest copies I have found on Amazon.  Just click the link and it will take you to the right page to order it.  The first list is if you wish to pay in US$ and the second if you wish to pay in UK£.

US Versions:

UK Versions:

Finally, if you would like some help in using words, sounds and images to improve your Creative Visualization techniques, try using Mind Movies.  This is a brilliant way of focusing your Desire through Imagination into Visualization, and therefore using the Universal Law of the Supernal Triangle to create reality out of your dreams.  Click here to find out more.

Wednesday, 23 August 2017

Visualization



If you have been studying personal development for long I am sure you have come across the concept of visualization.  My purpose now is to explore exactly what visualization is and why it is important.  How do you do it, and what difference does it make?

Visualization is imagining something so strongly, so clearly, that you almost feel as though it is really here.  Or, if you are very good at it, so that you really DO feel it is here!

Everything is energy.  Have you ever heard that before?  Well, it is true.  Absolutely EVERYTHING is energy.  The chair you are sitting on.  The floor you are standing on.  Yes, they are physical, they are material.  But what do we mean by physical and material?  Everything physical consists of atoms.  And atoms consist of sub-atomic particles - which are all simply energy.

When you dream of something, if you invest that dream with enough energy you will create the substance of your dream.  In order to do that properly you have to visualize it.  Really see it.  Close your eyes and imagine you are really there. 

Are you dreaming of a lovely holiday on a sunny beach in a hot climate?  Is that something you would like to turn into reality?  If so, do everything you can to feel as though you are really there now.  Prepare for this in advance of your visualization.  Begin by getting some photos of the kind of place you would like to visit.  Stick those pictures in an album.  Take some time to look carefully at each picture.  Burn it into your visual memory.  Are there any sounds that should be associated with this dream?  Maybe the sound of waves gently lapping at the shore?  See if you can find some recordings of this sound.  Search hard enough and you will find a recording like this somewhere online.  How about the sense of touch?  In the example I have given, there is the feel of sand slipping through your fingers.  You should be able to find some nice soft sand somewhere too.  Pick up a handful and let it slip through your fingers just as if you were sat on the lovely beach you have imagined.  Now close your eyes.  Bring back into your mind the pictures you put in the album.  Play the associated sounds - you can either literally play the recording now, or simply re-play it in your mind.  Feel that soft sand running through your fingers.  Smell the salt air.

How does all this make you feel?  It should, of course, make you feel happy!  Very happy!  Bask in that happy feeling.

If you do this properly, you are truly visualizing.  By visualizing you are creating an alternative reality.  Your visualization and emotion combined will have produced the right energy to turn your dream into a reality.  That reality has not yet turned into a physical reality, but it will at some point in the future if you allow it!

Do not underestimate the power of visualization!  It is a very powerful technique indeed.  Treat it, therefore, with some respect.

Never try to visualize something negative.  For example something bad happening to someone who has hurt you.  It is actually possible to create something very negative, something very bad in this way.  That bad thing may indeed happen to that unfortunate person, but whether or not it does, be certain of one thing - it will come back to haunt you and something at least as bad will happen to you.

Also, be careful in general about including real people in your visualizations.  It is one thing to dream of something you want to happen happening to you.  You may find when it materializes that it is not really what you wanted - but then you can simply change your visualization, fine tuning it so that it produces what you really want.  But it is quite different using the same technique to make something happen to someone else, no matter how good you think it might be for them.  Certainly hold them in love, with wishes for happiness, peace, and other positive states.  But don't be too specific.  Just as you can find you need to fine tune the dream you had for yourself, so it can be that the dream you had for someone else is not really right for them in their situation right now.  The difference is that they are unaware of what you have done and cannot therefore fine tune or ask you to fine tune it.  God gave us all free will, so don't try to turn yourself into a god and impose your own will on someone else, no matter how good you think it might be for them.

Wednesday, 16 August 2017

Choose Happiness!



How happy do you want to be?  Very happy?  Moderately happy?  Or maybe miserable?

Yes, that's it, isn't it?  Miserable.  You want to be miserable don't you!

No?  Are you sure?  You don't want to be miserable?

In that case, why do you sometimes choose to be miserable?

Yes, that is what I said - you choose to be miserable.

We each choose how we want to feel all the time.  If you are happy, it is because you have chosen to be happy.  If you are miserable, it is because you have chosen to be miserable.

At this point I expect many of my readers are ready to disagree, to argue with me.  "I do not choose to be miserable!"  they say.  "I am only miserable because of ..." and you can fill that gap with many different things.  "... what has happened to me", "... the situation I am in", "... what so-and-so said to me", "... what so-and-so did to me", "... the terrible time I am having", etc, etc.

I don't want to brush aside whatever may sometimes cause your unhappiness, or what may even be causing you unhappiness right now.  Well, actually, I DO want to brush it aside, or rather want YOU to brush it aside, but I don't want you to believe that I am underestimating its importance and its power.  Yes, I know it has power.  A lot of power.  And maybe you have thought that there is no way past it and that you are destined to be unhappy more often than you are happy.  But I want you to recognize first that, no matter how powerful it is, no matter how dark it seems, it can only exert that power against you if you allow it to do so.  Your emotions are yours, and you have both the power and the right to change them.  If you don't want to be miserable, choose not to be miserable.  If you want to be happy, choose to be happy.

Have you heard of Nick Vujicic, the founder of "Attitude is Altitude"?  "Attitude is Altitude" believes that whatever our circumstances we each have the power to be successful.  If you have not come across Nick Vujicic before, then perhaps you are thinking "it is all very well for him!  He doesn't have to face what I face!"  True - Nick doesn't have to face what you face; only you have to face that.  What Nick has to face is having been born without arms or legs.  Not even being able to pick up a toothbrush to brush his teeth.  Is Nick miserable?  No!  He is happy!  If you have ever watched him speak you will have seen him filled with joy, totally inspired, and radiating that inspiration to all around him.  Despite his disabilities, Nick decided he wanted to swim, surf, and skydive, so that is what he did.  He decided he wanted to speak in front of thousands, inspiring them to achieve whatever they want to achieve, and that is what he does.  If you believe that circumstances, the situation you are in, is what causes you to be unhappy, then Nick should be very unhappy.  But he isn't.  Nick is happier than most people who are in good health and have all four of their limbs.

I am not saying it is easy to suddenly decide to be happy rather than be miserable.  Like all good things in life it requires practice.  But believe me when I say that practice is absolutely worth it.  Giving you the ability to be happy no matter what!

The first step to achieving this is to recognize where happiness and unhappiness come from.  They don't come from circumstances.  They don't come from your surroundings.  They don't even come from the people around you - although if you are surrounded by happy people it is much easier to allow that happiness to well up from within you too, and if you surround yourself with unhappy people it is very easy to forget to choose to be happy yourself.  So by all means do whatever you can to be surrounded by happy, positive people.  Do whatever you can to change your circumstances if they are not conducive to happiness.  But even as you do so, remember that ultimately the happiness you want has to come from within you.

Here is some advice from a person who has been dubbed "the world's happiest man" - Matthieu Ricard.

1  Stop thinking "me, me, me" all the time.  Not for ethical reasons, although I do believe it is far more ethical to think of others rather than yourself.  But the reason it is difficult to be happy if you just focus on yourself is because you will quickly see all the things that are wrong, that need to be changed.  You will tend to see what you don't have rather than what you do have.  And you will exhaust yourself trying all the time to find ways to change things.  I am not saying don't try to change things - it is always good to have targets you want to reach, things you want to achieve.  But don't spend all your time thinking "me".  Instead, think about others and how you can help them.  This has a double benefit.  Firstly, it stops you thinking "me, me, me", which is, as I have said, one of the easiest ways to make yourself unhappy.  Secondly, you will find as you help those around you so they will want to help you.  This should not be the motivation for helping them, but it will certainly over time change the circumstances you are in for the better.

2  Start training your mind to be happy.  Begin by setting aside just 15 minutes a day thinking happy thoughts.  Normally when you have happy thoughts they are ephemeral.  One minute they are here, and then suddenly they are replaced by unhappy thoughts.  In that 15 minute training period, focus on those happy thoughts and don't let them just melt away.  Other, less positive and less happy, thoughts will try to intrude, but brush them aside when they appear and switch your attention back to those happy thoughts.  If you meditate you will recognize that what I am suggesting here is a form of meditation.  But not "normal" meditation, which perhaps will just focus on your breathing or the light of a candle.  There is nothing wrong with "normal" meditation, and in fact I strongly encourage you to practise it (and using breath or the light of a candle is a very good way to do so).  But for this specific "happiness" exercise, focus on a happy thought.  Do this every single day, and in only two or three weeks you will feel so completely different.

Finally, remember to be grateful for all that you have.  No matter what your circumstances I can guarantee there is something to be grateful for.  Find that "something" and express your gratitude.  It may be something very small.  That doesn't matter.  In fact, it is good if it is small.  Learn to feel grateful for the small things, and the bigger, more obvious things will make you even more grateful.  And gratitude and happiness go hand in hand.

Recognize from now on that you have the right to be happy, that you can choose to exercise that right.

Decide to be happy from today!


Wednesday, 9 August 2017

Dealing with Fear


Are you ever afraid?

I would be very surprised if anyone answered "no" to this question!  Apart from anything else, there is a purpose for fear.  It would not be very sensible to try to eliminate it.

The purpose of fear is survival, of course!  It is sometimes known as the "fight or flight response".  Fear is the natural reaction to dangerous situations.  It prepares you to remove the danger - either by confronting it to get rid of it (fight), or to remove yourself from the dangerous situation (flight).  In modern civilized society fear is much less needed than it was when man was a hunter-gatherer.  There are far fewer life-threatening situations which require you to fight or run away.  There are still many situations where you need to take action to prevent unpleasant consequences, but in most cases the fight or flight response is inappropriate.

What is the correct response to fear?  First, you should check what is causing the fear.  Second, you should decide how you should react to that fear.  Third, you should decide whether you literally need to fight or run, or whether a different response is required.  If you do need literally to fight or run, then leave the fear unchecked to allow you to have the necessary increase in strength and speed.  Don't let it get so strong that it paralyzes you, like a rabbit in the car headlights, but allow it to do its physiological job.  If you don't need to fight or run, then you may either "sublimate" the fear, or create a state change to remove it.

Here is an example where you may actually need the fear for its original purpose:

You are in the jungle and a lion suddenly appears.  Unless you are a very unusual person, at this point you will become very afraid.  My understanding is that you should not run in this situation, as that will encourage the lion to run after and attack you - and believe me when I tell you a lion can run rather faster than you!  My research tells me that a hunting lion can reach speeds of 50 mph or more, and I am quite sure this would be too fast for you!  So you shouldn't use the "flight" reaction.  Instead, use the "fight" response.  Make yourself appear threatening to the lion.  You could act this without the fear there to stimulate you, but it would not be anywhere near as effective as it will be if you use the physiological change to indicate you are ready to fight.  Raise your hands and yell at the lion!  Then walk away slowly, not running, whilst maintaining that threatening attitude.  In most cases, this strategy is likely to work and you may well get away completely unscathed.  But if the lion continues to attack, use that fear to push you right into fight mode.  Now you are not pretending you are going to fight - you actually are fighting.  Punch the lion in the face, aiming at its eyes if possible.  Without a massive flow of adrenalin into your system, your attack on the lion would no doubt be a very miserable attempt.  But allow the adrenalin to fulfil its purpose and you will be able to punch hard, causing quite a lot of damage.  In many cases that has been enough for the lion to decide this prey is too much trouble and to slink away.

A good example of sublimating fear is the way many actors use stage fright to give better performances.  They express that fear through the energy, emotions and passion they need to put into their performance.  But some great performers have been unable to sublimate their fear in this way, and the result has been catastrophic.  Barbra Streisand had a 27 year hiatus in her singing career, caused by severe stage fright.

If you find you have just the "right" amount of fear for the situation you are in, then don't try to do anything to remove it.  The negative emotion is fulfilling its purpose.  Don't let it paralyse you.  Instead, begin immediately to use it to improve your ability to run or to fight.  As in the above "lion" example.

But if fear is inappropriate for the situation you are in, which most of the time will be the case, you need a state change to remove that fear.  This is not the same as the way I have outlined in other articles for removing worry.  A good way to remove worry is to think logically about the situation you are in, recognize that worry is not going to change it, and then move on.  But fear tends to be an instantaneous response, and usually requires something much faster acting than logical thinking.  Hence my suggestion of a state change.

A good way to create a state change is to adopt a different body posture.  Posture and emotions are inextricably linked.  When you are feeling a powerful emotion you will find your body adopts a particular posture that fits the emotion.  But also, if you adopt a posture normally associated with a particular emotion you will find it creates that emotion.  It works both ways.  So think of a very different, positive emotion and try to adopt the posture that fits with that emotion.  Ideally you should prepare a set of postures in advance.  Work on creating a posture for joy, one for high energy, one for a relaxed state, one for inspiration, one for awe, etc.  Then work on creating just a small body movement that links to the full posture for the positive emotion.

This is, as you will realize, a long term project, and one that goes far beyond simply countering fear.  You can use it to counter any negative emotion.  If you have done a lot of work on this, then by all means create an appropriate state change by using one of the "positive postures" you have worked on.

But if you have not yet reached the stage where you have a portfolio of postures you can readily adopt, go for "high energy".  This is something you will already have experienced if you have been to any of the programs run by someone like Tony Robbins or T Harv Eker.  If you have not been to one of those programs you can still easily do this.  Stand up straight, as quickly as you can.  Jump up and down, if possible thinking about something that makes you feel really good.  Wave your arms in the air.  Imagine you can hear some really loud, pumping music, and pump your arms up and down in time to that music.  It will simply not be possible for you to maintain a state of paralyzing fear while you are doing this!  The adrenalin may continue pumping, but it will definitely be linked more to "fight" than "flight".  Of course, you may be in a situation where you cannot jump up and down, but try to do as much of this routine as you can without totally embarrassing yourself in that situation - maybe jumping to your feet and punching one arm into the air will be enough.  When you feel really energized, then try another state change for relaxation, peace, and happiness. Sit down, without slumping (that is very important), close your eyes, and recall an event where you were really happy.  At the same time smile broadly.  Really imagine yourself there, eliciting your happiness both from that event and from your broad smile.  Breath deeply and slowly.  Focus on that deep breathing, and relax.  Now gradually open your eyes and come back to your "reality".  You should find you now have a very different emotion.  The fear should be gone, and replaced with peace and happiness.

I hope you will never need to use the technique I have given you for dealing with a stalking lion, but if you do you will find this technique really is the best you can do and it could literally save your life.  I am, though, quite sure you will face other things in life which cause fear or even panic - use the state change techniques I have outlined and make that fear and other negative emotions a thing of the past.

Wednesday, 2 August 2017

Everyone Makes Mistakes


Greeting and Salutations from Ari Mc Intyre!

I have been getting positive feedback from the last article so I wanted to continue with my next statement "everyone makes mistakes."  This is so near and dear to me as a Spiritual Life Coach.  We learn with challenges. Notice what I am saying: "With" challenges.  The only way we grow is with a situation that requires us to be the best we can be.

Most days I am researching, developing and listening to feedback from my Spiritual Coaching clients about what is working for them and what is not.  So when I say to you everyone makes mistakes I am speaking from experience.

You are your own worst enemy.  You will find faults where others would not even dare to look.

Why?

Because we need to learn how to trust, believe and support ourselves and others in our lives.  We are all connected whether you want to entertain that idea or not.  It's important to accept and understand that from the beginning so you can learn how you deal with life challenges.  Knowing yourself helps you to laugh at yourself and not take yourself so seriously.

You see, life is what we make it.  A part of life is making choices which can lead to mistakes.  This doesn't mean we will always make bad choices or keep making the same mistakes.  Knowing yourself is the key to not allowing every setback, every challenge and every bad turn of event make you shut down and stop trying to achieve your goals.

In my coaching I have seen many of my clients move from being average, everyday people to folks who are now running very successful businesses.  How did that happen?  By making a lot of mistakes and a lot of decisions.  That is how!

No-one can hurt you or help you more than yourself.

Here is an affirmation that has help me over the years to stay on the right path for me:

I, (state your full name) forgive myself for making bad choices.  I let go and let my higher power now guide me to my true path.  Under Grace in the Perfect Way!  And so it is!

I would suggest you light a Lemon Verbena Communications candle when you make this affirmation so you can set the stage for a relaxing mind set.

This is a really good affirmation.  Try saying it over and over again and you will see significant changes in your life.

Learning how to forgive yourself is the key.  Recognizing you have made poor decisions is hard, but the right affirmation, aromatherapy and lots of love can help you grow into the person you would like to be.  I have seen remarkable changes in people who do this.

Here are some suggestions on ways you can reduce the mistakes you make:

  1. Slow down.  Take a few moments to think carefully about what you are doing so you can be more certain you are not making a mistake.
  2. Talk to a trusted person.  It is always good to speak with someone who knows you and believes in what you are doing.
  3. Do a Pro and Con list before you make your final choice.


Making mistakes is a part of life.  Don't let your choices rule you.  Make informed decisions so you can continue till your reach your goals.

Please check out my website and if you have any questions, comments or suggestions please email me at candlesbyari@gmail.com.

Love and Light

Ari

Who is Ari Mc Intyre?


Ari Mc Intyre is a Spiritual Life Coach with a successful live weekly radio show (Spiritual Coaching with Ari Mac) that is carried by I Heart radio, a maker of affirmation aromatherapy candles, and a writer.

She has been working as Spiritual Life Coach for over 15 years.

Ari uses her gifts of intuition and clarity to tune into an individual's situation and assist them to make better choices.  Ari facilitates these changes utilizing affirmation aromatherapy candles, spiritual coaching and keen observation with her expertise in the study of human nature, reading astrology charts and tarot cards and using energy healing to help each individual achieve their goal.  She has successfully guided her clients from being single to marriage, through life changing career moves, processing grief and manifesting dreams with counsel and divine guidance.  Ari says that FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real and that is why we all need a little positive energy in our lives.

Ari uses affirmation aromatherapy candles to help a person tune into their higher power.  Once you have achieved what you want, you have to maintain it with daily meditation & prayers.  Acquiring something is one thing but maintaining it is entirely different.

Her goal is to help you learn how to control your balance, think clearly and make smart choices to help maintain that balance.  Her acute sense of human nature makes working with Ari a truly enjoyable experience.

Ari believes God has a sense of humor, which is why sometimes things are so ironic.  It's not funny when it's happening but when it's done, if you look back on it, you may find an ironic divine path that you never knew existed.

No one is perfect but we can all do a little better each day.

Wednesday, 26 July 2017

Hidden Benefits of Meditation

by

Ari Mc Intyre



Greeting and Salutations

I wanted to give you a reminder of why meditation on a regular basis has hidden benefits on your life.

My name is Ari Mc Intrye.  I have been a Spiritual Life Coach for over 10 years and one of first things I teach my students is to meditate.

What I have found in my journey of life is that most people only meditate in a few restricted places. Usually at home or at places of worship.  Recently major companies like Google have set up quiet meditation stations at work to allow their team members to relax.  The results have been incredible!  Production has increased, because being regenerated gives the mind and body a chance to reconnect.

You see, when we are refreshed and centered we can get more done in a shorter amount of time.  Our minds are clear to think about how to use our energy.  Making meditation a part of your daily life keeps the mind and body deeply connected so you can stay calm.  Which helps you make better choices.  Which keeps you mentally balanced.

What many people don't understand is that meditation doesn't have to be complicated.  It can simply be just focused breathing for at least 5 minutes a day.

Sounds simple, right?  So why don't more people do it?  Because you will have to clear your mind for that 5 minutes and think of nothing but breathing and listening to your own heartbeat.  That's right, you will have to listen to yourself.  Hear what's your body is trying to tell you and, more importantly, slow down and tune out the rest of the world!

The benefit in making this commitment is way beyond what you could imagine.  Your body gets a break from within.  The chemicals in your body get replenished with fresh air and your mind gets a moment to rest.  Think about it - outside of sleep, when do you take mental breaks?  Best of all this is FREE!   You can do meditation at your leisure.  Nothing is needed but you, a safe place, and no distractions. 

The trick is setting up that safe space.  I have been teaching about using affirmations, aromatherapy and colors for years, and these will all help you in your meditation journey.  You would be surprised how a simple adjustment to where, when and how you meditate can lead to manifesting whatever you like on the physical plane, which is the major hidden benefit of meditation.  But you must first start the journey on the mental plane.  You get to create the life you have always dreamed about.  I know this happens because I have witnessed it happening in my students all the time. 

So make the effort to start your meditation journey today and begin reaping the benefits.

Wednesday, 19 July 2017

How to Expand your Sphere of Availability



In my last article I outlined the concept of the Law of the Sphere of Availability, which came as quite a shock to a number of readers.  Some Law of Attraction gurus view it as a kind of heresy.  If we have the power of the Universe behind us, then how can there be any limits on what we can achieve?  And if there are no limits, then surely the Sphere of Availability is infinite!  If you really want something, then it is available to you right now as long as you use the Law of Attraction properly.

Those who read my article carefully will know that I did state quite clearly that there are no limits on what the Universe can bring us, and that the reason we do not achieve all that we wish to achieve is because of limits we create ourselves.  But just because we have created those limits ourselves, it does not make them any the less real or penetrable.  I am a firm believer in the infinite power of the Universe, and am a great optimist, but I also know that I, for one, cannot simply suddenly decide I want my bank account to expand by a factor of a million, affirm and visualize properly for it, and then expect that to happen overnight.  As has been said many times (and accredited to many different people) "the difficult we do immediately; the impossible takes a little longer!"  So be ready to accomplish difficult challenges but don't immediately expect the impossible!

So, is there anything we can do to expand our Sphere of Availability, and expand it rapidly and substantially?

As I have already said in the earlier article, begin expanding your Sphere of Availability by taking full advantage of it, and manifesting the things you desire from within it rather than initially trying for things well outside it.  You could imagine the Sphere as something a bit like the horizon.  If you simply stay where you are, it does not move, but it expands as you move towards it.  Don't sit there saying there is no point in trying to move forward because you can see the limit ahead of you and what you want is beyond that limit.  Start moving towards your goal and watch the Sphere of Availability move and embrace that goal.

Do not underestimate the power of doing this.  Maybe start in a small way until you get used to it.  Even a few steps forward moves the horizon a few steps further forward.  After just those few steps you are unlikely to notice the effect, but believe me it is there!  Get into the habit of congratulating yourself for your small successes, and thanking the Universe for granting them to you.  This will encourage you and you will find you can make larger steps.  And as you make those larger steps the expansion of your Sphere of Availability becomes more and more obvious.

What else can you do?



Going back to the horizon metaphor, if you really want to see it expand more quickly, then ride a bicycle rather than walk, ride a car rather than cycle, fly an airplane rather than drive.  In other words, use the right tools.  If you don't yet have an airplane, use a car, and if you cannot afford a car get a bicycle.  This, too, is using the Law of the Sphere of Availability - use what is available to you now rather than sitting down in the middle of the road crying because you don't have something better and faster.  If you keep your eyes open you will see many tools available to you.  Some are very effective but maybe cost more than you can afford right now.  Some are completely free, but are more like bicycles than airplanes!  Use what you can now, but remain alert and "upgrade" your tools once you are in a position to do so.  Such tools include the use of a personal coach, webinars, courses, blog articles etc.

As well as moving towards your goal and seeing the Sphere expand, start trying to find about about your self-created limits.  What are they?  Why are they there?  How can you remove them?

Some of those limiting beliefs were created in you when you were a small child.  Some you picked up later in life when you fell at a hurdle and came to belief that it is impossible ever to jump over a hurdle.  They are reinforced by you and also often by the people surrounding you.  Initially just try to become aware of what they are and then try to find what is continuing to feed them and keep them strong.

Most of these "Abundance Blocks" are hidden deep inside you, so it can often be very difficult even to find them, let alone to get rid of them.  There is a free masterclass on finding and ridding yourself of abundance blocks which you can study online at a date and time convenient to you.  This is called "Unblock Your Abundance", and it is run by the world-renowned expert on removing Abundance Blocks, Christie Marie Sheldon.   Regard taking that masterclass as riding a bicycle rather than walking.  You can find that masterclass here:


When you have completed the class you will find there are options for you to upgrade your bicycle to a car or a plane if you are ready and willing to do so.  Or just keep cycling for free - it is certainly a lot better than walking or, even worse, standing still and just moaning that the horizon hasn't moved!

Wednesday, 12 July 2017

Sphere of Availability



Have you ever tried to use the Law of Attraction and found it simply didn't work for you?  Have you ever tried visualizing really hard for what you want, used good, positive affirmations for it, and still found it never materialized?

There can be many different reasons for not being able to materialize a desire.  The problem is not with the Law of Attraction, which works, but with the way in which you are applying it.

I have covered some of those reasons in other blog articles, but here I am going to cover a Universal Law many Law of Attraction coaches do not mention at all, gloss over, or even downright deny it exists - the Law of the Sphere of Availability.

We are taught not to set limits to our desires, that the Universe has no limits and neither should we.  We are told that the only limits on what we can achieve are the limits we set ourselves.

This is all very true.  There ARE no limits to what the Universe can bring to us.  Universal power is unlimited power.  The limits appear only when that unlimited power tries to express itself through a limited being.

I do not disagree with any of this.  In fact, I teach this myself.  But it is still important to understand and apply the Law of the Sphere of Availability, which seems to contradict everything I have just said above.

First, what is the Law of the Sphere of Availability?  It is a Universal Law that defines what is readily available to you and what is not.

If the Universe is unlimited, how come there is a Universal Law that creates limits on what you can achieve?

One way of looking at this is as the exception that proves the rule.  The Universe has no limits, but we do.  Self-created limits.  Limits we could do something to remove or at least stretch further, but nevertheless real limits that we have to recognize exist.  As long as a limit is there, it is pointless trying to ignore it.

Let me give you an example.  Suppose you want a 5 bedroom house, but at the moment are living with your parents and have no capital or income.  Is the 5 bedroom house within your Sphere of Availability?  If you are like most people, I would say no, it is not within your Sphere of Availability.  It may be that you are so gifted in your use of the Law of Attraction that it IS within your Sphere of Availability, but this would be extremely unusual.  It would make sense in this case to go for something more realistic.

At this point there will probably be Law of Attraction coaches and practitioners screaming at me, telling me not to add to the problem by making people believe there are limits.  Well, there ARE limits!  As I have said, there are ways of removing some limits completely and expanding the Sphere of Availability for others.  But until that is done, those limits are there and we have to respect this.

Work within your own Sphere of Availability.  Have big dreams, and visualize and affirm for those big dreams.  But also work on dreams that are within your current Sphere of Availability.  These will be much easier to achieve, and those early successes will encourage you.  They will also expand your Sphere of Availability, so you can now begin manifesting bigger dreams.  This expansion of your Sphere of Availability happens in two ways. 

Firstly, having acquired or achieved something, this has hopefully brought you closer to your big dream.  For example, the person who was living with his parents and with no income uses the Law of Attraction to get a job.  He now has income, and so he starts to visualize for his own apartment.  When he gets that, then his dream of a 5 bedroom house is very much closer and may now even be within his Sphere of Availability.

Secondly, the small successes make you realize that the Law of Attraction really does work.  This now makes it easier for you to use it for bigger dreams than you could have used it for earlier.  Perhaps not your really big dream yet, but certainly bigger dreams.

Put both of these together and you will find you can expand your Sphere of Availability quicker than you might have thought possible.

Ultimately there ARE no limits.  You ARE worth far more than you give yourself credit for.  You CAN achieve your biggest dreams.  But use your knowledge of the Sphere of Availability properly so that you really CAN get there rather than trying to manifest only "unrealistic" goals and then complaining that the Law of Attraction doesn't work!  As the old adage goes "learn to walk before you run" - but notice it DOESN'T say "you can only walk, so don't ever bother trying to run"!


Wednesday, 5 July 2017

Why Have an Accountability Partner?



I have previously written about accountability partners, but as that was over three years ago, and as this is such a key concept in any personal development strategy I make no apology for doing so again.

If you have a full-time job let me ask you something.  Why do you bother going to work each and every work day?  Why don't you just stay at home on days you don't feel like going to work?  I hope your answer was that you are morally bound to do so, that if someone is paying you to do something then it is a moral imperative to do it!  But there is also probably another answer - you have to keep going because you are accountable to your boss.  If you just decide you won't turn up because the weather is nice and you want to sunbathe in your garden, then probably your boss will question you about this (at the very least!).

If you run your own business then maybe you feel there is nobody to whom you are accountable?  This is not really the case, though, is it!  Your accountant works for you rather than vice versa, but I imagine when you meet with your accountant and discuss what has happened over the year you feel accountable.  You are also accountable to your suppliers.  If you just decide not to turn up and your business goes downhill, you still have to pay your bills, so you are certainly accountable to them.  It is true, though, that this kind of accountability is not quite the same.  You probably don't get words of encouragement for doing the right thing or suggestions that you may be going in the wrong directions - although if you have a good accountant then perhaps you do get this.

If you are studying, then you are accountable to your teachers or lecturers.  They expect you to arrive in time for your lessons and to be fully prepared to learn.  They expect you to do work in between the lessons, and make you accountable for this, perhaps by handing in an essay.  If you have "off" days when you really don't feel like going in, you probably still go anyway - because you are accountable.  Sometimes you may feel you simply aren't making progress and that you might as well give up - but even then you still put in the effort because you are accountable, and the feeling that what you are trying to do is impossible passes.

The truth is, if we have someone to whom we are accountable this almost certainly makes us do what needs to be done.  It makes the employed person get up early every day no matter whether he or she feels like doing so.  Perhaps most days this is simply a habit you don't think twice about, but on those days when you don't want to get on with it then this accountability makes sure you do!

Hopefully you now recognise just how important accountability is.  That it keeps you going, keeps you on target, makes you achieve what you need to achieve even at those times when you really don't feel you can.

Now let me ask you.  Who is your accountability partner for the goals you wish to achieve?  Do you have one?  If not, why not?

Some people at this point tell me they don't have a partner because they don't need one.  Usually they are deceiving themselves.  We all have days when it just seems too much of a challenge.  We have days when we find we are going backwards rather than forwards.  Those are the days we really need an accountability partner to keep us going.

Others tell me that although they would like to have an accountability partner they cannot find the right one.  Certainly it is true that it shouldn't just be anyone.  It has to be someone who will be positive, and certainly not the kind of person who says "I told you so!" when you pull up at the first hurdle.  You should be surrounding yourself with people who are positive and will support you in going for your dreams.  You need those people around you anyway, not just to have accountability partners, but this is certainly the first place you should look.  But if you haven't yet made much headway in creating that "mastermind group" of like-minded people, there are certainly other ways of finding an accountability partner.  For example, go to a forum that is related in some way to whatever goals you have set yourself and ask someone to do an "accountability exchange".  They will be your accountability partner for your dreams in exchange for you doing the same for theirs.  You should find this a very positive experience.  Many people who do this find they become inspired by the goals of their accountability partner and the way their partner works through the barriers stopping him or her from reaching them.

Give it a go!  Get yourself an accountability partner and see what a difference that makes to your ability to make your dreams become your reality!

Wednesday, 28 June 2017

Take Action



How easy is it to achieve your goals?

If you believe what some people say, it is very easy.  All you have to do is to decide what you want to achieve, use daily "affirmations", perhaps put it on a "vision board", and it is a done deal.  Right?

Wrong!

If you have read many of my blogs you may be excused for thinking I am one of those people trying to tell you that is all you need do.  But I am not.  Deciding on your goals first and making sure they are your "real" goals is, of course, absolutely essential.  Once you have set your goals, you should certainly use affirmations, and a vision board (or ideally a "Mind Movie").  But that is NOT all there is to it.  And that is where so many people who try to use the Law of Attraction fail.  They miss out the final step.

And what IS that final step?  It is to take action!

This is, of course, absolutely key!

You may at this point think I am crazy!  Of course you know you need to take action!  Yes, you know it, but do you DO it!

Take a look at what has happened to you in the last few years.  Are there any goals you set yourself which you did not achieve.  Be really honest here.  If so, and again be really honest, why did you not achieve them?  Was it because they were simply not achievable, or was there any element of you not taking the right action?  If you ARE honest, I am sure you will admit that there have been times when you have decided what you wanted to achieve, got yourself "pumped up" to achieve it, but then not taken the first necessary steps to achieve it.  Or you took those first steps, but then didn't continue in the same direction.

Taking action is essential.  But the first actions need not be big steps.  In fact, it is much better if they are not.  Certainly have big dreams.  Have big ultimate goals.  But don't expect suddenly to achieve those goals without having put in any work to reach them.  Instead, make it a lot easier on yourself.  Set yourself initially very small steps towards small goals.  Goals that take you in the right direction towards your ultimate goals.

When you do this you will find things are much easier.  You are not creating so much work for yourself that you freeze like a rabbit in car headlights.  That little goal you have set yourself can be reached easily without too much effort.

When you reach it, two things will happen.  Firstly, you will genuinely have achieved something.  It may not be a lot, but you have still achieved it.  You are closer to your ultimate goal.  Secondly, you will have started creating a habit - the habit of setting goals and achieving them.  And this is perhaps the most important thing you can do.

Up to now your subconscious may have been used to you saying you are going to achieve something but never achieving it.  Each time you set yourself a goal your subconscious shrugs its shoulders and says "not again!"  But with this first small success you are starting to change things.

Keep it up.  Make another small step.  Then another.  And then another.  Keep doing this.  Just small steps.  Nothing too big.  Keep doing this and you will now have the habit of achieving.  Now when you say you are going to achieve something, your subconscious will no longer shrug its shoulders and make disparaging comments.  It will take notice.  And when your subconscious starts to take notice, believe me things will begin to change, eventually quite dramatically.

Promise yourself that from now on when you want to achieve something you will take the necessary action so you really can achieve it - and see what a huge difference this makes!